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A College Story

This post is not finished yet, but I want to publish what I have so far.

     For my entire life, I have been surrounded by people with mental illness. My younger brother was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, my father with bipolar disorder, and my mother with depression; I have had close friends with eating disorders and other self harming behaviors. As a child, I watched my mother spend hours upon hours struggling with my brother, and helping him work through everyday activities that were difficult for him. As I grew older, my mother became more frustrated and tired, and seemed to give up more easily when the going got rough. I often found myself seeking solutions to the communication problems between my mother and brother, and I have felt a great sense of purpose because of it. During high school, my parents had some domestic issues and I found myself in a frightening and unpleasant position. The court assigned counselors to visit my siblings and me at home to help us make sense of the situation, and I wondered to myself if I could do their job. My parents hugely benefited from marriage counseling and eventually managed to share a pleasant life together. I did not know it then, but it was those experiences that would ultimately influence my career path.

I was just shy of eighteen when I began my first semester at Kent State University, and to be honest, I did not know why I was even there. College was not fun for me, and going to class every day was on the same level as getting a tooth pulled. I think I only went because I knew my mother would be furious if I did not. I was in the pre-med program, and decided to take general psychology as an elective class. It turned out that I quite enjoyed learning about the mind and all of its wonders. During my sophomore year, I decided to drop the pre-med course-load and declared a major in psychology.

Despite my growing interest in my schoolwork, I was not very focused for most of my undergraduate career. Juggling between work, school, and a difficult home life took its toll on me. However, I decided that my education was important, and that if I was going to get where I wanted to be, I would have to make some serious changes. By this time, I was already in junior standing and only had a couple semesters left before I would have a degree.  It was not much time to mend the damage I had done to my GPA. I scheduled a meeting with an advisor and was told that my chances of getting into a graduate psychology program were slim to none, even if I did well during my last few semesters. At that point, I decided I was done with psychology. All anyone ever talked about was research, data correlations, validity, and standard deviation. I wanted to talk to people, to find out what causes them pain, and to help them find comfort from it. I realized that I had known what I wanted to do for quite some time; I had just chosen the wrong program for my professional goals. The classes that interested me the most were psychological interventions, the sociology of mental illness, and adolescent psychology; those classes were about people- not statistics, chemicals, or memory.

My interest in human emotion and my eagerness to help those who are troubled often seeped into my work life at Lowe’s. I often found myself talking with customers about personal issues just as much as I talked with them about which weed killer to purchase. I liked listening to them, and I liked offering a fresh perspective to anyone who was willing to hear one. Because of my desire to help people during difficult times, I decided to look into some volunteer positions. I ended up taking a volunteer position at Robinson Memorial Hospital at the main lobby information desk. I thought it would be the perfect place for me to talk to the friends and families of patients who may be plagued by a worried conscious; and from time to time the opportunity presented itself. Unfortunately, most people who enter the lobby ask for a room number and quickly disappear into a nearby elevator. During down time I began chatting with the transporting volunteer, Ashley, who sits with me behind the desk. She is a 17 year old junior in high school who is a cheerleader and quite popular. She is very much the opposite of my high school self. Despite these differences, I came to learn that we had a lot in common, especially when it came to relationships. Ashley began seeking my advice, and after some time, I came to realize that many of the things she did and spoke about were perfectly in line with my studies in adolescent psychology. It was at this point that I realized that I wanted to focus my concentration on adolescents and young adults.

I am open-minded about the future, and hope to have the opportunity to work in various settings ranging from community based agencies to private clinical meetings. Ideally, I would like to work with persons between the ages of twelve and twenty-two who are experiencing emotional difficulties. My goal is to be able to diagnose and treat these individuals to help them lead happy and successful lives. Having a degree in clinical mental health counseling will lay the foundation for these goals because it will teach me the fundamental skills I will need to earn a license in professional counseling and professional clinical counseling. 

Turning 22

My birthday was pretty good. I ended up skipping class completely because I was so tired this morning. That’s the first time I’ve done that this semester, and hopefully the last. I’m trying so hard to be serious! Anyway, Sam got me a Claddagh ring with a green crystal for the heart. I’ll be wearing it on my right hand facing in to symbolize that my heart is taken. =] My mom got my another charm for my Pandora bracelet and an elephant necklace. My brother got me a gift card to red lobster, and my sister got me a cooling pad for my laptop (which I desperately needed). Sam said his mom got me something, but I won’t get it until the next time I go over to his house. 

I had to work this evening, but it was the usual stuff. I can’t really complain. It’s my fault for not thinking to take the day off work for my birthday! lol.

So Much For That Idea.

My brother has been trying to get his shit together recently. He’s been paying all his fines from going to court and getting into trouble, and was hoping to have a clean slate to start the year off right.

So here he is at my parent’s shop with some friends because he forgot his wallet and wanted to check the truck in the parking lot for it. The cops come to see what they’re up to since the shop is closed. They all most likely reek of pot. The cops, I assume, are searching the car and finding plenty of evidence. My parents get a call from my brother so my dad goes down there, and the cops start searching my dad’s vehicles…. so dad says “those are my cars” and the cops told him not to give them lip.

Le sigh. Lucky for my parents they have security cameras. Those cops have no good reason to be searching the other cars in the parking lot.

So there my brother goes, getting into more trouble. Ugh.

I hope someday he can find a way to save himself. He seems to be his own worst enemy.

He’s Back

My brother is moving back in at home. His apartment was in my dad’s name, so it’s being sub-leased to my dad’s buddy. I’m not exactly sure how things are going to go around here, but I sure as hell hope that nothing ridiculous happens.

I’m writing a 10 page paper analyzing the way mental illness is portrayed in “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest”. I hate it. I’m only a page and a half in.

This storm is pretty awesome though.

Then They Heard “Gimme Your Wallet”

Today my brother got robbed at gunpoint in his own apartment (by strangers). Him and his roomies were hanging out watching a movie after the cavs game. The door opens and everyone assumes it’s Tyler’s girlfriend. Next thing they know there are 3 guys in their room demanding money and phones. Tyler got pistol whipped. One of the boys had a birthday today so all his birthday money was stolen. Luckily everyone is okay though. 

2011, you’re gonna kill me.

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