I decided to kill my journal. The damn thing is so big. I feel like I’m not connected with it anymore.
[This part isn’t important- feel free to skip to the bold section]
I started writing in this journal during February of 2010. For that year I wrote fairly often, probably on average once a week, which is less than I used to. (When I first started journal writing I had at least a page for every day). Anyhow, in 2011 I wrote much less frequently- only 3 times for the first 6 months. Things picked up a little in July with some relationship venting and my summer vacation recap. I was then writing about once a month again until April 2012. It looks like a lot of it was me being insecure in my relationship with Sam and us working through some kinks. Last time I wrote was July 26, 2012 and I just don’t feel motivated to write something now because it feels so disjointed.
I’ve been writing irregularly for a while and mostly when I’m pissed off or otherwise upset. I guess it’s good that I’ve been writing less and less under those circumstances. However, I do want to write about my happier moments and I want to start recording my dreams. I feel like it just doesn’t match up with the already present, 2.5 year old theme of this journal. The point is that I feel like I’m in an entirely different position in my life and I don’t think I should be writing in the same old journal anymore.
I guess this is the best way I can explain it: I’ve had several chapters in my life which have flowed together neatly, forming a book that has ended with a mild cliffhanger conclusion. That book has ended but the story must continue. I’m not just starting a new chapter. It’s so much more than that. This isn’t just simply a continuation of the same story; It’s like the Lord of the Rings trilogy or Star Wars. Even though it’s a continuation, it’s also a whole new story in itself. That is why a new journal is necessary.